Inane Horoscopes for May 2023

  1. Aries: You will successfully tie your shoes today, impressing no one but yourself.
  2. Taurus: You will find a new favorite pen today, and it will bring you inexplicable joy.
  3. Gemini: You will wear a shirt today, and no one will comment on it.
  4. Cancer: You will listen to a song today, and it will resonate with you in a mildly pleasant way.
  5. Leo: You will make a joke today, and it will be met with polite laughter.
  6. Virgo: You will make a to-do list today, and then promptly forget about it.
  7. Libra: You will see a cute animal today, and it will briefly improve your mood.
  8. Scorpio: You will overhear an interesting conversation today, and then immediately forget what it was about.
  9. Sagittarius: You will read a mildly amusing joke today, and then promptly forget about it.
  10. Capricorn: You will successfully balance your checkbook today, and no one will care.
  11. Aquarius: You will learn a useless fact today, and then struggle to find a way to incorporate it into a conversation.
  12. Pisces: You will see a cloud that looks like a familiar shape today, and then forget what it was by the end of the day.
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ChatGPT Nonsense Story About A Man Pooping Himself

Please accept my sincerest apologies for the low level of maturity on this blog post.

I presented this prompt to Chat GPT:

Write a silly story about a grown man who was day-dreaming about robocop in church and then falls asleep and accidentally poops himself.

Honestly, I was shocked that it accommodated me without scolding me for the subject matter.

Once upon a time, there was a grown man named Tom who had a fascination with Robocop. He was sitting in church one Sunday, daydreaming about Robocop saving the day when suddenly he dozed off.

As Tom drifted off into a deep sleep, his subconscious mind took him on a wild adventure. He found himself in a futuristic world where he was the sidekick of Robocop. Together they fought off villains and saved the world. It was an exhilarating experience for Tom, and he lost track of time.

Unfortunately, Tom’s body wasn’t as excited about his adventure as his mind was. He had eaten a large burrito the night before, and his stomach was feeling uneasy. While he was sleeping, Tom accidentally pooped himself. The smell was so bad that it woke him up, and he quickly realized what had happened.

Tom was mortified. He tried to pretend like nothing had happened, but the smell was too strong, and everyone around him started to notice. People were trying to hold their breath and move away from him, and Tom wished he could disappear.

After the service ended, Tom bolted out of the church and ran all the way home, too embarrassed to show his face to anyone. From that day forward, he never daydreamed about Robocop in church again, and he always made sure to use the bathroom before leaving the house.

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Inane Horoscopes for April 2023

  1. Aries: You will have a bodily function today, and it will be entirely normal.
  2. Taurus: You will eat a meal today, and it will be satisfying.
  3. Gemini: You will communicate with another human being today, and it will be unremarkable.
  4. Cancer: You will feel an emotion today, and it will be valid.
  5. Leo: You will encounter a mirror today, and you will look great.
  6. Virgo: You will notice something out of place today, and you will fix it.
  7. Libra: You will have a social interaction today, and it will be pleasant.
  8. Scorpio: You will have a thought today, and it will be intriguing.
  9. Sagittarius: You will have an experience today, and it will be interesting.
  10. Capricorn: You will have a responsibility today, and you will handle it.
  11. Aquarius: You will encounter a new idea today, and it will be thought-provoking.
  12. Pisces: You will have a dream tonight, and it will be forgettable.
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Bumpboxx Retro Pager

Electric Purple Bumpboxx Retro Pager

I ordered my Bumpboxx Retro Pager Bluetooth® Speaker from Amazon last week. I feel that the $89.00 USD price was a bit high, but I got it on credit, so it doesn’t hurt so bad. Also, paying that price is partially my fault. Had I bought it in black, it would have been $10 cheaper. Overall, I’m happy with it and its features. There are a few things I would have preferred, but that’s OK.

Pros

  • Micro USB Power Port
  • TF Card (Micro SD) Card for mp3 Files
  • Variety of color options
  • Belt Clip
  • Decent Sound
  • Flashlight

Cons

  • Pager Sound Effect when powering on (It’s maddening and cannot be disabled)
  • No Skip Button for mp3 Files (as far as I can tell)
  • No Random/Shuffle functionality for mp3 Files
  • FM Channel Scan is too fast (It would be near impossible to have enough time to recognize a song and stop the scan in enough time to actually stop on that channel)
  • Poor FM Reception
  • Button Placement (It’s relatively difficult to press the clip to insert into your pocket without pressing random buttons)

The likelihood that a user would actually utilize the card or the radio is low, I get it, but their low quality makes them near pointless. If you plan to use Bluetooth® only, you’re good.…

Relevanet Twitter Posts

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Tough Love for All American Christians

It’s time for some tough love for some of you. Magical thinking is *dangerous*. Burn your bibles for fuck’s sake and find a science book. It’s all fake anyway, and it’s a threat to our very safety.

I refuse to live in a theocracy, and your excuses and rationalizations are PART. OF. THE. PROBLEM.

This is not a matter of my opinion vs. yours. This is a matter of me accepting that remarkable people who are smarter than both of us have clear and convincing answers about our world.

I’m not going to single out the evangelicals as a strategy to not piss off non-evangelicals. It’s ALL fake and if you identify as any denomination at all, you’re admitting to accepting some astonishingly embarrassing ignorance. Like cringe-worthy, unsettling nonsense.…