Inane Horoscopes for April 2023

  1. Aries: You will have a bodily function today, and it will be entirely normal.
  2. Taurus: You will eat a meal today, and it will be satisfying.
  3. Gemini: You will communicate with another human being today, and it will be unremarkable.
  4. Cancer: You will feel an emotion today, and it will be valid.
  5. Leo: You will encounter a mirror today, and you will look great.
  6. Virgo: You will notice something out of place today, and you will fix it.
  7. Libra: You will have a social interaction today, and it will be pleasant.
  8. Scorpio: You will have a thought today, and it will be intriguing.
  9. Sagittarius: You will have an experience today, and it will be interesting.
  10. Capricorn: You will have a responsibility today, and you will handle it.
  11. Aquarius: You will encounter a new idea today, and it will be thought-provoking.
  12. Pisces: You will have a dream tonight, and it will be forgettable.
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