(917): you wouldn’t come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
(720): ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning…
(917): no it doesn’t.
(910): so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there–you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup–then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you “wanted water”. you then, fell down the stairs while saying “you don’t know me” then crawled to the couch.