Lots of church people are driving home around 2 pm on Sundays – wearing their nicest clothes. It’s 8:04 am Monday and Grandpa Mad Dog who sits caddy-corner from me is already growling. and again. and again. and even for a 4th time now… and it’s only now 8:06 am. AND AGAIN. still 8:06. I had a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast, which I never do. I am not hungry now, so I think it was a successful sandwich. I now feel uncomfortable clearing my own throat because I feel like I’m making fun of Rabid Papa Bear bulldog face. 8:09 with a growl and a cough.
More Mens Restroom Noise Description (brief)
First the guy in the last stall began sharpening a pencil by quickly scraping it at a 45 degree angle in the grout between two floor tiles. He quickly abandoned this project and instead cut a tennis ball in half and then began repeatedly cupping the open end of one side over his mouth while making a baboon face, thus producing the sound of about 20 Pringles cans being opened in a sequence.
So last night I had some strange dreams again. First of all, I dreamt that I went to have a friendly visit with my ex-girlfriend and some really little dude showed up after I got there. He was an adult but from a distance he looked about 10 because he was so small. He wasn’t a midget. It was somewhat clear that he was there with intentions of intimacy because of her reaction to me seeing him come in. I didn’t want to get all in her business so I was a little uncomfortable. I just wasn’t clear on why she wanted such a small man.
The second dream was more bizarre. Something happened to my eye and it came out. I was no where near as upset as someone should be if they are holding his or her own eye in hand and only casually trying to determine when a hospital visit should occur. This is extra strange for be because, if you know me at all, you know I don’t like for either one of my eyeballs to fall out. I was looking at it… and it looked like an eyeball. I was contemplating how urgently I would need to make my way to the emergency room and have it re-… attached, inserted, installed? I was only mildly concerned about it becoming unusable. Luckily when I woke up this turned out to be a dream. I have both eyeballs still – and I’m damn near 28 years old.