Lots of church people are driving home around 2 pm on Sundays – wearing their nicest clothes. It’s 8:04 am Monday and Grandpa Mad Dog who sits caddy-corner from me is already growling. and again. and again. and even for a 4th time now… and it’s only now 8:06 am. AND AGAIN. still 8:06. I had a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast, which I never do. I am not hungry now, so I think it was a successful sandwich. I now feel uncomfortable clearing my own throat because I feel like I’m making fun of Rabid Papa Bear bulldog face. 8:09 with a growl and a cough.
More Mens Restroom Noise Description (brief)
First the guy in the last stall began sharpening a pencil by quickly scraping it at a 45 degree angle in the grout between two floor tiles. He quickly abandoned this project and instead cut a tennis ball in half and then began repeatedly cupping the open end of one side over his mouth while making a baboon face, thus producing the sound of about 20 Pringles cans being opened in a sequence.
So last night I had some strange dreams again. First of all, I dreamt that I went to have a friendly visit with my ex-girlfriend and some really little dude showed up after I got there. He was an adult but from a distance he looked about 10 because he was so small. He wasn’t a midget. It was somewhat clear that he was there with intentions of intimacy because of her reaction to me seeing him come in. I didn’t want to get all in her business so I was a little uncomfortable. I just wasn’t clear on why she wanted such a small man.
The second dream was more bizarre. Something happened to my eye and it came out. I was no where near as upset as someone should be if they are holding his or her own eye in hand and only casually trying to determine when a hospital visit should occur. This is extra strange for be because, if you know me at all, you know I don’t like for either one of my eyeballs to fall out. I was looking at it… and it looked like an eyeball. I was contemplating how urgently I would need to make my way to the emergency room and have it re-… attached, inserted, installed? I was only mildly concerned about it becoming unusable. Luckily when I woke up this turned out to be a dream. I have both eyeballs still – and I’m damn near 28 years old.
Last night when I got home from having fun I must have been drunk, but I did not think that I was. It was kind of a blur and for some reason I was thinking that some people were on their way over. There was no reason for me to think this. I thought, I better go get into bed because these people may want to sleep, and if they do, they’ll want the couch. Again – no one was coming over and there was no indication from anyone that they were even considering it. I think I may have even left the door unlocked so the imaginary visitors could get in. So, I grabbed around the room at stuff that I thought I would want near me as I slept and threw them in the bed and promptly got in it. I had a dream that I was at Sunny and Matt’s house and that, even though I have never smoked cigarettes, I could take a huge freaking drag off of one and then exhale an unbelievable cloud of smoke in a breath that lasted forever. I awoke at sometime between 6 and 8 am sober and thinking that some people might actually be asleep in the living room. I got up and snuck into the living room to see if anyone was there. Nope. I then walked to the couch and lied down and immediately passed out. I then slept until around noon, which I never do anymore. I got up and kind of looked around a bit – still no one there. I couldn’t find the phone and thought it might be in the bed. I went to the bedroom to see if it was there. I didn’t see anything at first but then lifted to pillow to expose 1 cordless phone, 1 mobile phone, and 1 can of air freshener. I found this highly amusing.